Be Careful What You Wish For
by possiblycrazee
Summary: AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Be Careful What You Wish For…

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta: **Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

Doctor Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce wandered up the path to his house in Crabapple Cove, Maine. He pushed open his front door, bending down to pick up the letters sitting on his doormat. Pulling the door shut behind him, he absently sorted through the mail. Dad. Dad. Dad. Medical journal. Me. Me… hello… he hung his coat on the rack and dropped his father's mail on the kitchen table. Flopping down on the sofa, Hawkeye stared at his mail. Two letters. One rather ordinary looking; could be from anyone. He dropped that one next to him on the sofa. One written on parchment, folded into a parchment envelope. His eyes widened. There was only one person who would write to him on parchment. Hawkeye didn't bother to fight back the urge to grin like a madman. He quickly tore open the letter, reading it hurriedly. The smile fell off his face. His eyes fell onto the letter next to him. He picked it up, turned it over and opened it, reading the contents. He flinched. He was being posted to Korea. He had an assignment, but he was being sent to war…

Hawkeye stood in the shower tent after a grueling 9 hour session in the OR. He sighed, tilting his head up to the water and letting it pound the tension out of his shoulders. He shot a glance over at the new doctor, Captain BJ Hunnicutt. The blonde man was resting his head on his arms, letting the water run down his back, looking half asleep. He shot him a wry smile. BJ gave him a crooked smile in return, before yawning widely, shutting off his water, drying off quickly and throwing Hawkeye a wave over his shoulder as he headed back to the Swamp.

The dark haired doctor watched him go, waiting until the door swung shut and BJ's footsteps had faded into the distance before shutting off his own water and stepping out, wrapping a towel around his waist. He stepped in front of the mirror, turning his back to it and glancing back over his shoulder. He frowned, scrutinizing the smooth skin of his back. He ran a hand up over one of his shoulder blades, sighing as he did so. Nothing but smooth, pale skin under his hand. He scowled, watching his reflection scowl back at him, before turning away from the mirror, pulling on his robe and his pants and heading back to the Swamp.

Corporal Radar O'Reilly sorted through the mail in the bag that came to the 4077th MASH. Hawkeye. Hawkeye. Major Burns. Major Houlihan. BJ. BJ… Radar frowned as his hand brushed over the two letters for Captain BJ Hunnicutt. The slightly psychic corporal winced in sympathy as he caught a flash of what was in the captain's letters. Boy, he hoped Hawkeye was up for this. Steeling himself, Radar picked up the letters for the occupants of the Swamp and headed out. Knocking on the door and waiting for the muffled 'Go away, Hotlips!' that signaled Radar's cue to enter, the corporal shifted uneasily from foot to foot. Hearing his cue to enter the Swamp, Radar pushed open the door.

"Mail's here, sirs," Radar called.

"Anything for me?" Hawkeye asked from where he was busily rearranging Frank's shaving kit.

"Uh-huh… one from your dad… and… a newspaper…" Radar said fishing the letters out of his pile.

"Gimme. Gimme. Gimme," Hawkeye said, snatching the letters out of Radar's hand and dropping onto his bunk to read them.

"Radar… tell me you have a letter from my wife..." BJ said hopefully.

Radar fought the urge to wince, "Uh… yes, sir… right here, sir… and another one from… home… too, sir…" Radar quickly handed the blonde doctor his letters.

Radar quickly tossed Frank's letters onto his bunk, a sure sign something was bothering him. Frank was on R&R for the next week, Radar was supposed to hang onto his mail. Radar scurried from the Swamp, his head down, quickly throwing a 'goodbye' over his shoulder as he hurried back to the CO's office. Hawkeye frowned, looking up from his letters as he saw the young corporal half-run out of the Swamp and across the camp. What was bothering Radar? He turned to BJ, who had a similar frown on his face, and raised an eyebrow. BJ shrugged. Whatever it was, Radar was bound to tell them sooner or later. The two doctors sat back on their respective bunks and tore open their letters from home. Hawkeye settled back in the chair by the door, a soft smile on his face, as he read the letter from his father. BJ settled into his bunk, the letter from his wife open in his hands.

Dearest BJ,

I hope this letter finds you well, and I hope that you are staying safe as best you can. Erin and I are doing great. Waggles says hello. Erin said 'baba' last week. She's growing so fast. I took her for her first haircut last week. She hated it. She kept moving her head and cried the entire time. She wants hair like Rapunzel. She is bound and determined to have hair long enough to sit on. She has the same stubbornness as you. Only two years old but she still knows exactly what she wants.

BJ, there is something important happening here. I don't know how to tell you this. This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write.BJ, we've been married for nearly three years now. But, I can't help but feel that you, I'm sorry, that you don't love me like you could. There's something missing, BJ, and I know it's not me. I've put everything into this marriage. I can only conclude that, maybe, we just aren't meant to be. I'm sorry, BJ. I'm so sorry.

There's something else, as well. This isn't a decision I have come to lightly. It has been on my mind, lurking in the back, ever since you left. I don't know how to put this. There really is no nice way to write it. BJ, I've found someone else. His name is Thomas Miller. Don't be angry, please. I honestly believe that Tommy and I are soulmates. Please don't be angry, BJ.

This letter should come with another one from Harper and Mayblin Law. The divorce papers are in there. I know that the mail is unpredictable over there, but can you get them signed and back as soon as possible? Tommy's asked me to marry him.

Take care and stay safe,

Peg.

BJ frowned, staring blankly at the letter in his hands. He'd never wanted to kill someone before. Amazing, wasn't it, then, that he felt empty, now that he did. He sighed as he realized that his Hippocratic Oath prevented him from beating the crap out of Thomas Miller. Glancing down at the letter, he wondered idly if his Hippocratic Oath prevented him from hiring a hitman. He tilted his head to the side as he considered that. He honestly had no idea. Hawkeye. Hawkeye would know.

Dragging his eyes up from the dreaded letter, BJ called over to his friend, "Yo, Hawk?"

Hawk's dark head popped up from the inside of Frank's footlocker, "Yes'm?"

BJ flicked the letter absently, "Does our Hippocratic Oath prevent us from hiring a hitman?"

Hawkeye blinked at his blonde friend, "What?" he asked incredulously.

"Does our Hippocratic Oath prevent us from hiring a hitman?" BJ repeated.

Hawkeye snorted with laughter, "Very nice, Beej, you almost had me there. Great joke."

BJ frowned perplexedly, "Who's joking? I genuinely wanna know, Hawk. Does our Hippocratic Oath…?"

"Yeah, I got it the first two times," Hawkeye interrupted, looking at his friend closely.

Hawkeye moved to sit in front of BJ, "And... just out of curiosity... why… are we hiring a hitman?"

In answer, BJ threw the letter he had been previously clinging to for dear life into Hawkeye's lap. Hawkeye looked at BJ for a few seconds. The blonde man was too calm, his blue eyes staring blankly at the door. Hawkeye frowned, this was not his Beej. He flicked his gaze down to the letter in his lap. Dearest BJ… It was from Peg. Oh no. Hawkeye flicked his eyes back up to BJ's face. He hadn't moved. Hawkeye sighed softly and began to read. His lips moved soundlessly and his eyes widened as different pieces of the letter stood out.

Dearest BJ… Peg, you've got some nerve, he thought. …you don't love me like you could… my God, woman! He got sent to war and he still writes to you at least twice every week! I've found someone else… Oh no… Beej… Please don't be angry, BJ… Don't be angry! How do you expect him to feel now that you've ripped his heart out and crushed it under your boot heel! Divorce papers? Oh no… Beej… oh my poor Beej…

Wait… Hawkeye's eyes widened… Thomas Miller? Peggy's new piece of nads was called Thomas Miller? Oh Adair, you son-of-a-bitch… The dark haired doctor's eyes blazed furiously. He forced down his anger, BJ was more important right now. He looked up. BJ still hadn't moved. Hawkeye's heart twisted. Poor BJ. Resisting the urge to tear it into pieces, Hawkeye placed the letter carefully on BJ's bunk. He crouched down in front of the blonde doctor, placing one hand on his knee.

"Beej?" he said softly.

The blonde slowly turned to face him, his eyes glassy with tears, "Hawk? She… she…" he managed to choke out.

Hawkeye's heart clenched, "Aw Beej, I know, I know."

Hawkeye sat next to BJ and wrapped his arms around his friend's shoulders. BJ turned into him, burying his face into Hawkeye's neck, his shoulders heaving as he sobbed brokenly. Hawkeye fought back his own tears, his anger threatening to resurface as his best friend's tears soaked into his shoulder. Adair, Adair, Adair… What have you done? He rubbed BJ's back, murmuring nonsensical things as the blonde man cried himself out. Slowly, eventually, BJ's sobs slowed and his breathing evened out. Hawk glanced down; he saw BJ's closed eyes and tear-streaked face. Hawk sighed softly; he'd cried himself to sleep.

Carefully untangling his friend's long limbs, Hawkeye eased BJ back down onto his bunk. Heading towards the door, he shot another glance at his best friend's tear-streaked face. Every bit of anger that Hawkeye had so carefully forced down came surging back up. His eyes blazed with anger and he stormed towards the door, stalking out and shutting it with a bit more force than was necessary. Hawkeye strode across the camp towards the supply tent. No-one was in there. It was the place he was least likely to be disturbed. Pulling open the door, he walked in, failing to notice the door to the Swamp opening and a blonde head poking out.

BJ jerked slightly as he was jostled out of the uneasy sleep he had fallen into. He blinked blearily, glancing around for Hawkeye. He frowned, noticing the empty tent. What had woken him up, then? BJ jerked slightly, realizing belatedly, and with a surge of guilt, that he his first thought on waking had not been of Peg and her decision to leave him for another man. No. His first thought on waking had been of Hawkeye…

He glanced out of the tent, frowning as he saw Hawkeye's familiar form striding across the camp. How could that have happened? What kind of husband was he! He got out of his bunk, pulled open the door and watched as his best friend disappeared into the supply tent. He scowled. No way. Hawk was going to bang a nurse! Now! BJ frowned. Goddamn, why did that bother him! BJ's eyes filled with tears and he swiped them away angrily, stalking across the camp to the supply tent.

Hawkeye paced up and down the supply tent, trying to get his fury down to a manageable level. He stopped suddenly. Then, with a stillness not normally seen in the dark haired doctor, he closed his eyes and took several slow, deep breaths. His eyes opened, and with one glance back to the door, making sure it was still tightly shut, he raised a hand, fingers splayed, palm up, up to eye level. He took a breath… and his head whipped round. Damn! Someone was coming. Hawkeye clenched his fist again and flopped back down onto a stack of supply boxes, bowing his head and sighing in frustration, his hair falling into his eyes. He glanced up as the door to the supply tent banged open and BJ stormed in looking utterly furious, face still streaked with tears.

Hawkeye blinked, a slight frown on his face, "Beej?"

Glancing around the supply tent and finding it empty except for the defeated looking Hawk, BJ's brow creased slightly in confusion, "Hawk? There's no-one here. Where's the nurse gone?"

Hawkeye's eyes widened, "Nurse? Beej, there's no nurse. Just me and a half dozen rats."

BJ winced, "Damn, Hawk, I'm sorry. I thought… I'm sorry."

Hawk shrugged, "Its ok. I came in here to curse Peg out. I didn't want you to hear that," he snorted, then grinned sheepishly, "Though, perhaps the supply tent probably wasn't my best choice."

BJ shrugged, looking downcast again, staying silent. Hawkeye picked himself up off the supply boxes, flicking his hair out of his eyes. He looked up at the slightly taller man. BJ tried to give him a smile, but it turned out more like a pained grimace. Hawkeye sighed, placing an arm around BJ's shoulders and leading him out of the supply tent.

"Come on, Beej, try and get some sleep," Hawkeye told him softly as he led him back to the Swamp.

BJ shook his head, "Can't. I'm in post-op in half an hour."

Hawkeye looked up at him, "No, you aren't. You're in no condition to watch over a ward. I'll cover for you. Don't…" he finished, holding up a hand as BJ opened his mouth to protest, "Beej, get some sleep. If it makes you feel better, you can owe me one, okay?"

BJ sighed dejectedly, nodding, "Alright, Hawk, but I do owe you one."

Hawkeye nodded back, sitting BJ down on his bunk, pulling the doctor's boots off, a small smile crossing his face as BJ yawned widely. He patted BJ's knee as he stood up, pushing on his shoulder, noticing that the blonde man was already half asleep. BJ mumbled softly, but lay down, burying his face in the worn, army-issue pillow. Hawkeye shook his head. Damn that woman. He pulled the blankets up to cover BJ's shoulders, before tiptoeing out of the Swamp and heading over to post-op.

Hawkeye yawned widely as he pushed open the door to the Swamp. He glanced over at BJ's bunk. The blonde doctor was still asleep. He rubbed his face tiredly and groaned wearily as he realized there was something he still needed to do. Pulling off his coat, he dropped it on his bunk before heading out across the camp to the supply tent, too exhausted to notice the blue eye that cracked open as he groaned and left the tent.

Standing in the supply tent, Hawkeye closed his eyes, bringing his hand up to eye level, palm up, fingers splayed. He stilled, his eyes opening slowly. Pursing his lips, Hawkeye let out a soft, three-toned whistle, the corners of his mouth curling up in satisfaction as his hand started to glow softly. Clenching his fist, Hawkeye shifted the glow from his hand to the air in front of him, a soft glowing ball bobbing gently at eye level.

Hawkeye took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts, before blowing gently into the glowing orb and chanting softly, "Adair, Adair, Adair."

He never noticed the wide blue eyes of his best friend staring through gap in the supply tent's walls.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Be Careful What You Wish For…

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta:** Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

BJ stared through the gaps in the canvas walls of the tent. He blinked. What in the hell…? He rubbed his eyes and looked again. The glowing ball of light was still hanging in front of Hawk. OK. It was official. He had been driven mad by the pain of his wife leaving him. He nodded emphatically, still staring at the shimmering orb hovering by Hawkeye's head. He was a Section 8. BJ started to back away from the tent, irrationally thinking that Klinger was going to be so jealous.

The blonde stuffed a fist into his mouth to smother the hysterical giggle that threatened to force its way up out of his chest. He turned away and was about to head back to the Swamp, when he heard Hawkeye speak. BJ paused, trying to hear what Hawkeye was saying. It all sounded muffled. He stood in the middle of the camp, torn. Go back to the Swamp and sleep, then apply for a Section 8 tomorrow morning? Or go back to the supply tent and see just how crazy he was, and whether Hawk was crazy too? Against all his better judgment, BJ turned, heading back towards the supply tent, taking up a spot outside, listening to his friend's conversation with a white, glowing orb.

Hawkeye scowled at the short, plump, bespectacled man that appeared, looking decidedly disgruntled, in the ball of white light. Adair scowled back, pushing his tortoise-shell framed glasses up his nose and adjusting his hideous bow tie. Hawkeye glanced down at the bow tie, then back up at Adair, raising an eyebrow. The plump man flushed lightly, his wings ruffling on his back.

"What? You summoned me, Benjamin, not the other way around," Adair said crossly, wings fluttering lightly.

Hawkeye fought the urge to wince at the use of his given name, "Hawkeye, Adair. I prefer Hawkeye."

"Quite frankly, Benjamin," Adair smirked as Hawkeye gritted his teeth, "I don't care. You summoned me away from my dinner. I want to know why."

"Thomas Miller," Hawkeye said shortly, his eyes blazing.

Adair frowned, "My assignment? What about him?"

Hawkeye smiled sarcastically, "Oh nothing, nothing… just…" the doctor's voice grew deceptively sweet, "Just your assignment is bonking my assignment's wife. And now said wife has sent my assignment a 'Dear John' letter and divorce papers."

Adair shrugged, "I fail to see how that is my problem."

"What!" Hawkeye yelled, before wincing and lowering his voice, "Adair! You're intruding on my assignment! That's the first thing we're taught not to do!"

Ruffling his wings against his back, Adair pushed his glasses up his nose, "No, Benjamin, I am not. I'll admit, this possibly could have been handled with a little more…" the bespectacled man waved his hand dismissively, "… decorum, but I am not encroaching upon your assignment. Thomas has found his soulmate in Peg. Your assignment needs to accept that and move on. Maybe then he'll be able to find his own soulmate."

Hawkeye growled, throwing up his hands, "BJ was happily married. He loved his wife and daughter. He still does. Damn you, Adair, how can you tell me that he needs to just suck it up and find his soulmate!"

"Language, Benjamin, it does not become us to use such vulgarity."

Hawkeye growled again, wishing he could punch the obnoxious, bow tie wearing asshat in the face, "Adair, I don't care about the language. I do, however, care that the man I was sent here to protect is being screwed over by your assignment!"

Adair pushed his glasses up his nose yet again, his feathered wings fluttering, "Benjamin," he said, heaving a long-suffering sigh, "What were your exact orders?"

Steeling himself, BJ took a deep breath and pulled back the flap on the supply tent's window. His jaw dropped. Wings? What in the…! Wings! That guy had wings. And he was in a float-y, glow-y, ball-y… thing. BJ muffled a snort. Now there's proof he was going nuts. Eight years of college and the best he can come up with is 'float-y, glow-y, ball-y thing'. He tilted his head to the side. Hawkeye was talking to him. The guy with… wings… and he didn't seem the slightest bit phased. BJ frowned slightly, concentrating on what the two were saying.

"Please, Adair, Hawkeye. Say it with me, now, Hawkeye," the dark haired man said, irritation in his bright blue eyes.

Adair raised an eyebrow, "Your orders?" he asked mildly.

Hawkeye sighed, "Fine. My orders," Hawkeye stood a little straighter and began to speak as though reciting something from memory, "Thou art hereby charged to protect and shelter Doctor BJ Hunnicutt from any and all harm until such time as he can return home to, or…"

Adair smirked as Hawkeye trailed off, "Or what, Benjamin?"

Hawkeye bowed his head in defeat, "…or he finds, his soulmate."

BJ let out a strangled squawk, hurriedly stuffing his fist into his mouth to muffle the sound. But it was too late. Hawkeye stiffened. His shoulders hunched. The winged man in the glowing orb glanced around him. A taunting smirk crossed the bespectacled man's face.

"Do come in, Doctor Hunnicutt," the glowing ball called cheerfully to BJ, before turning back to Hawkeye, "Goodbye, Benjamin."

Hawkeye flinched as Adair called a cheery greeting to BJ, scrunching his eyes shut. BJ hesitantly pulled open the door, stepping inside. Hawkeye's eyes snapped open, and he scowled at the use of his given name. He opened his mouth to curse at Adair, then glowered as he saw the glowing, white orb disappear. He sighed, not wanting to turn around and see BJ's face. He steeled himself and slowly turned, head first, glancing over his shoulder, body following until he was facing the blonde doctor.

"Uh… hi?" Hawkeye said sheepishly, barely meeting BJ's eyes.

BJ just blinked at him. His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. His bright blue eyes were wide. Hawkeye almost laughed. It would have been hilarious if he hadn't just been busted. BJ swayed slightly on his feet. Hawkeye frowned, okay, that was officially not good.

BJ's wide, stunned eyes met Hawk's worried ones, "He had wings, Hawk. Wings!" he managed to get out, before he fainted dead away.

Taking two quick steps forward, Hawkeye caught him before he hit the ground. The dark haired doctor stared at his friend in shock. Since when did Beej faint! Then he snorted, probably about the time he started seeing his best friend conjuring up glowing orbs and talking to winged men inside said glowing orbs in the middle of the supply tent. Hawkeye grunted as he hoisted BJ unceremoniously over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. He stuck his head out of the door, checking that the coast was clear. It was. He ducked out, cutting as quickly across camp as he could without dumping BJ on his head.

"Hawkeye?" came a startled voice behind him, causing him to leap about six feet in the air.

"AHH!" he yelled, almost dropping BJ, only his better-than-normal reflexes stopping him from depositing the blonde on the dusty ground.

"Relax Hawkeye, relax, it's just me," the quiet voice of Father Mulcahy said, the priest moving up beside him.

"Geez Padre, don't do that! Just ask the Almighty to gimme a heart-attack next time." Hawkeye gasped out.

The Father raised an eyebrow, "You're probably in a better position to do that than I am, you know. Need a hand? And should I ask why you're carrying an unconscious BJ across the camp in the middle of the night?"

Hawkeye broke into an unwilling grin at Father Mulcahy's comment, "No thanks, Padre, I got him," he hoisted BJ up onto his shoulder again and headed towards the Swamp, followed by the Father, "As for why he's here… that's a long story, and one that is going to have to wait until I put him down. Damn, but he's heavy!"

The two men maneuvered BJ into the Swamp and onto his bunk. Hawkeye pulled off his boots and tucked him in. He sighed, looking over at Father Mulcahy, who was waiting patiently for him by the still. The still… Hawkeye's lips curled up in a small smile. He went over to the still, grabbing BJ's martini glass and placing next to the blonde's cot. He poured a tiny bit of gin in the bottom, then turned back to the Father, who was raising an eyebrow at him. He shot him a wry smile and gestured to the door.

"No concussion, he didn't hit his head, he just needs to sleep it off…" Hawkeye said softly.

"And you'd rather not be there when he wakes up?" the Father asked shrewdly.

Hawkeye nodded sadly and the two men moved out of the Swamp and headed over to the Chaplain's tent. Father Mulcahy opened the door, gesturing for Hawkeye to enter. Hawkeye wandered in to the Chaplain's tent, flopping down onto the spare chair. The Father took a seat opposite him and sat, looking quizzically at the doctor.

Hawkeye shot him a rueful smile, "Deus meus, ex toto corde poenitet me omnium meorum peccatorum, eaque detestor, quia peccando, non solum poenas a Te iuste statutas promeritus sum, sed praesertim quia offendi Te, summum bonum, ac dignum qui super omnia diligaris. Ideo firmiter propono, adiuvante gratia Tua, de cetero me non peccaturum peccandique occasiones proximas fugiturum. Amen."

Father Mulcahy smiled back and made the sign of the cross, "You can say that faster than me," he said dryly, "Now, about BJ…"

Hawkeye sighed, "Yeah. BJ. Padre, he got a 'Dear John' letter today," Hawkeye frowned, "No, wait, he got it yesterday."

Father Mulcahy's eyes widened, "Oh no. But I thought he and Peg were so happy…"

Hawkeye snorted, his eyes getting angry, "Yeah, so did he. Padre, I'm supposed to protect him. But, the person who his wife is now with, I… he… well… let's just say that splitting Peg and Tommy up would not be beneficial to either my ongoing health or Peggy's ongoing happiness."

"You mean…? Oh my…" the Father said, a frown creasing his forehead.

Hawkeye nodded, rubbing his face tiredly, "Yeah. Plus, he slip-winged me tonight."

"He what!" Father Mulcahy yelped.

"I was talking to another one, asking about Thomas Miller, Peg's new man. BJ followed me," Hawkeye said matter-of-factly.

"How can you be so calm! This could be disastrous!" Father Mulcahy said, one hand flying up to his mouth.

"That was what the gin was for, Padre," Hawkeye said with a wry smirk, "I figure he'll tell me he had a weird dream last night, I'll laugh at him, blame it on the gin."

"And if he doesn't blame it on the gin?"

"Then I'm in a world of shit," Hawkeye answered with a beatific smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Be Careful What You Wish For…

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta: **Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

BJ awoke with a groan in the Swamp. Wait… the Swamp? Wasn't he in the supply tent? With Hawk? And that guy that had wings? And the glow-y, float-y, ball-y thing? He blinked blearily, glancing around the tent. He frowned. What the hell…? His eyes widened slightly as he caught sight of the half-empty martini glass sitting by his bed. No way. Did he get that plastered? BJ frowned at the glass; he didn't even remember starting to drink. A soft snore interrupted his musing.

BJ looked in the direction of the snore. He saw Hawkeye draped over his bunk, still in his scrubs, boots still on his feet, stethoscope mashed into his cheek. Even in sleep the dark haired man looked exhausted. Exhausted? Oh no. He had a post-op rotation last night. So did Hawkeye for that matter. BJ winced. He sure as hell hadn't been in post-op. That meant… oh crap… Hawkeye had done both of their rotations. BJ winced again. No wonder Hawk was exhausted.

Hawkeye blinked blearily, grunting sleepily as he rolled over. His eyes opened and he frowned as something dug into his cheek. He clumsily dragged a hand over his face, finding his stethoscope. He raised a bleary eyebrow at it, before yanking it off and dropping it next to the bunk, rolling over and catching sight of BJ's guilt-ridden face. Hawkeye sighed. He grunted again as he struggled into a sitting position. Swinging his feet over the side of the cot, he yawned widely, before glancing over at BJ.

"What, Beej?"

"You took my rotation last night, didn't you?" the blonde asked quietly.

Hawkeye nodded, "Yeah, you were in no condition to do it."

BJ winced, "Was I that drunk?"

Hawkeye shook his head, "When I left? No. I told you to get some sleep and you could owe me one," then he smiled, "When I came back, however, you were telling me about the man with wings that lived in the… and I quote… 'glow-y, float-y, ball-y thing' and calling me an angel."

The blonde doctor blushed furiously, "Oh boy… I was plastered, wasn't I? I must've been, I don't even remember drinking."

Hawkeye snorted with laughter before raising his hands in mock surrender, "Don't ask me, I was in post-op. All I know is you were asleep when I left, then when I came back you were telling me about glowing, floating balls, winged men and angels."

BJ shook his head, burying his face in his hands, his voice coming out muffled, "Thank you, Hawk."

The other man shrugged, "Hey, its what I'm here for," he waved one hand at BJ as he yawned, "But you owe me. You even said so."

BJ smiled at his friend, his first real smile since his 'Dear John' letter, "Go back to sleep, Hawk, you look like hell."

Hawkeye lay back down, mumbling, "Don't you say the sweetest things…"

"Incoming choppers, both shifts to OR."

Hawkeye groaned, thumping his head into his pillow. BJ got up, pulling on his boots. Hawkeye hauled himself into a sitting position again, scooping his stethoscope up off the floor, rubbing his face tiredly. BJ held out a hand and yanked Hawkeye to his feet. The two doctors made their way over to the OR, preparing for yet another grueling session of meatball surgery.

After sixteen hours in surgery the two doctors dragged themselves back to the Swamp. Hawkeye immediately flopped face-down onto his bunk, not bothering to remove his boots. BJ went to follow him, then paused, listening to his friend's soft snoring. He turned to Hawkeye, pulled off the other man's boots and dragged the blankets up to his shoulders. BJ sat down on his bunk, tugging off his own boots. It had been bothering him all day. He'd apparently been so plastered he'd seen a winged man in a floating ball of light, but yet, he had no hangover.

BJ sighed, tossing and turning in his bunk. It was still bugging him. He'd gotten drunk enough to see angels, but he had no hangover. And if he had no hangover then he couldn't have been drunk, right? But if he wasn't drunk, then how the hell did the wings and the angels and the floating white light factor into all of this? He sighed, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of his cot. He wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

BJ heaved a sigh, pulling his wife's letter and the divorce papers back towards him. He still hadn't signed Peggy's divorce papers yet. He knew exactly what they said; having read through them what seemed like hundreds of times. He just couldn't find it in himself to actually pick up the pen and sign them. But still, BJ set the letter and the papers in his lap, switched on the lamp and started to read. Hawkeye mumbled in his sleep, making BJ turn to face him.

"Whaddya wan' now, Adair?" the dark haired man murmured, eyes still closed, "'aven't you screwed me 'n' Beej over enough?"

BJ jerked, his eyes widening. No. Hawkeye did not just say that. He couldn't have. That would mean… Oh my God… it was real. He had been in the supply tent. He had seen the floating white ball and the winged man. Oh my God… he'd watched Hawkeye… whistle up a glowing white ball and talk to a winged man in it.

"Oh dear God…" escaped from the blonde doctor's mouth before he could stop it.

Hawkeye's eyes snapped open and he sat up almost violently. His eyes turned to BJ's pale, stunned face. Hawkeye winced. BJ still stared at his friend, their faces shadowed by the soft light from the lamp. Hawkeye shifted slightly, squirming under BJ's scrutiny. BJ sat down hard on his bunk, his eyes wide. He gaped at Hawkeye, struggling to find the words he needed.

"It was real, wasn't it?" he finally asked.

Hawkeye just nodded sadly, not needing to ask what he meant. BJ went a couple of shades paler. Hawkeye glanced at his friend, his assignment, wanting to offer comfort, but knowing that, this time, it was his fault BJ was upset. BJ stared at Hawkeye for a few more moments, before questions started tumbling out of his mouth.

"Who are you, really, Hawk? Hell, what are you?" the blonde buried his face in his hands.

Hawkeye winced slightly at the harshness of BJ's voice, "Beej, honestly… I don't know how to tell you."

BJ blinked at his friend a couple of times before his eyes narrowed, "You know, the actual truth would be nice right about now, instead of just 'Damn, Beej, you were plastered'."

At that, Hawkeye visibly flinched, "BJ, you have to understand, what I'm about to tell you, you were never, and I really mean never, supposed to find out…"

"Nice, Hawk, and here's me thinking that I was your best friend."

Hawkeye paled, "BJ, please… let me finish…" he turned pleading eyes on the blonde doctor, "Please…"

BJ waved his hand, continuing sarcastically, "Oh no, Hawkeye, by all means, finish what you were going to say."

Hawkeye bowed his head, "I… this sounds so dumb out loud…" he sighed, taking a deep breath and steeling himself, "I'm a guardian angel. Your guardian angel, to be exact."

BJ raised an eyebrow, "Uh-huh," he said scathingly as he poured himself a martini and took a sip, "And I'm the tooth fairy."

Hawk looked him up and down, "No… I know the tooth fairy," he said with a small smile, "You're not three foot two with pale blue hair."

BJ snorted, choking and gasping, his martini spraying out of his mouth and nose, "Tell me you're joking, Hawk, please…"

Hawkeye shook his head, "Sorry, Beej, not this time."

BJ blinked at him, shifting on his bunk, narrowing his eyes, "Where's your wings then?"

Hawkeye scowled, "Ask the tough questions, why don't ya, Beej?" he frowned, looking down at his hands, "I don't have my wings yet. The wings don't come until later, once… once I've earned them. You're my first assignment."

"No wings? So, why do you expect me to believe you, Hawk? I mean, the guy who actually did have wings, Adair, or whatever his name was, I could believe he was a… a…" BJ struggled, waving his hands.

"Guardian angel," Hawk supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, but…" BJ shook his head, looking at Hawk in disbelief.

Hawkeye nodded, staying quiet. A small smile curled up the corners of his mouth. He held his hand up, fingers splayed, palm up. He smiled at BJ, eyes twinkling cheekily. He let out a soft three-toned whistle. BJ gasped as Hawkeye's hand started to glow. Clenching his fist, Hawkeye shifted the glow to the air at eye level. BJ reached out a hesitant hand, brushing his fingers through the glowing ball. Hawkeye smiled, which then turned into a decidedly evil smirk. He gently pushed BJ's questing hand out of the glowing ball. When BJ shot him a wide-eyed glance, he smiled and held up a hand.

Blowing gently into the ball, Hawkeye chanted softly, "Trapper, Trapper, Trapper."

BJ frowned for a second, still staring at the floating ball between himself and Hawkeye. Trapper? Where had he heard that name? His eyes widened. No way. Oh no way. Trapper? The Trapper? As in, 'I missed him by ten lousy minutes', Trapper? He was a… a… one of them… too?

A curly, strawberry-blonde head popped into view, blinking sleepily, "Hawk? Wha' ya wan'? S'four AM…"

Hawkeye grinned sheepishly, "Sorry Trap, I forgot about the time difference, go back to bed."

Trapper blinked a couple more times, and yawned, "S'ok, m'awake now. How are ya, Hawk?"

"Seen better days, Trap. I got slip-winged," Hawkeye replied, settling back on his bunk.

BJ blinked, sitting down hard on his own bunk, a confused frown on his face, "Slip-winged?" he whispered to himself.

Trapper winced sympathetically, "Oh ouch, who by? The Padre an' Radar knew 'bout both of us."

Hawk grinned, waving BJ over, "Beej, this is Trapper John Macintyre. Trap, this is BJ Hunnicutt. He replaced you when you went stateside, and slip-winged me the other day."

Trapper grinned at BJ through the soft glow of the floating orb, "Hey, nice to meet ya," his grin grew wider as he ruffled his wings slightly, gesturing to the white light that surrounded him, "Normally I'd shake hands, and all, but…"

There was a dull thump. Trapper Macintyre blinked in surprise. Hawkeye Pierce cursed softly. Hawk moved around the floating orb and looked down, shaking his head, before bending down to help. For the second time in three days, BJ Hunnicutt had fainted.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:**

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta: **Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

BJ moaned softly, blinking in the dim light of the Swamp. He twisted his head from side to side. Hawkeye sat up from where he was perched by the still. The glowing white ball continued to float next to his head, but, BJ noticed absently, it was empty. Trapper was gone. Hawkeye whistled softly, his blue eyes fixed on BJ and filled with concern. BJ frowned. What in the world was Hawk doing? Hawk… Another surge of guilt washed through the blonde as he realized that, yet again, his waking thoughts had been, not of his wife, but of Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce.

Hawkeye frowned, taking his eyes off the blonde doctor in the bunk next to him and turning them onto the glowing orb hovering by his head. He whistled again. Damn you, Trap. His frown grew even larger as the orb stayed empty. He reached up a hand, ignoring BJ's wide eyes, and swept his fingers through it. Hawkeye whistled again, a slow, complex, five-toned tune that made BJ's jaw drop. Hawkeye heaved a long-suffering sigh as the glowing ball remained empty.

"Never around when you need him," he said dryly to BJ.

"Look who's talkin', Mr Jeep-thief…" came a voice from glowing ball, followed closely by Trapper Macintyre's strawberry blonde head.

"I didn't steal that jeep! You did!" Hawkeye snapped back, indignantly, before shaking his head, "But that's really beside the point, Trap. You said you'd help me when Beej came round again."

"And here I am… And there he is…" Trapper said calmly, ruffling his wings against his back.

"Right…" Hawkeye replied, looking uncharacteristically flustered, "Uh… Beej… floor's yours… any questions?"

BJ blinked at the dark haired doctor. Any questions? Questions? After everything Hawkeye had just shown him… BJ could hear Trapper snickering in the background. Hawkeye flushed with embarrassment, burying his head in his hands.

"OK… so that wasn't the best way to put it."

"No, really?" BJ cut in, sarcastically.

"Sorry, Beej…" Hawk mumbled from behind his hands.

BJ shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts, "OK," he said, "I think the first thing I want to know is… well… everything…"

Trapper snorted, "Well, that's specific."

BJ glared at Trapper, "Well, let's start with how you two know each other."

Hawkeye grinned at the glowing ball, blue eyes shining with warmth. Trapper grinned back, flipping Hawkeye a mock-salute. Trapper rolled his shoulders, shifting his wings on his back. The curly haired man made an airy gesture towards Hawkeye, motioning for him to tell the story.

"Well," Hawkeye began, "According to our files, and the stories we tell everybody, Trapper and I met in medical school. It was the only way we could explain the fact that we became so close, so quickly."

"But…" BJ said, making a rolling gesture with his hand, and telling himself that he was absolutely not feeling jealous that Trapper and Hawkeye were close.

"But we actually met before we came to Korea," Hawkeye continued, "Trapper was my wingman."

"Wingman?" BJ asked, looking confused, "Isn't that a fighter pilot?"

"Damn thieves," Trapper mumbled, stretching his wings out, "Damn Helion too. Stupid numbnuts didn't even think. Just went 'round shootin' his mouth off. Weren't enough that he had wings, oh no, he had to go flyin' planes too."

BJ raised an eyebrow at Hawkeye. Hawkeye just rolled his eyes. The blonde doctor grinned. That was the Hawkeye he knew and loved. Wait… no… figure of speech… figure of speech. BJ shook his head and gestured for Hawkeye to continue his story.

"As I was saying…" Hawkeye said, shooting Trapper a look, "Wingman is also a term used by us that means a fully trained guardian angel, like Trapper here, who watches out for a newbie, like yours truly, on their first mission."

"I thought I was your first mission?" BJ said, squashing another irrational surge of jealousy.

Hawk nodded, "You are. But," he snorted, "Look how well I've handled it so far. You slip-winged me within six months of starting the assignment. Imagine how it woulda gone if Trap hadn't been here beforehand giving me pointers."

Trapper grinned, "Smokin' crater…"

"Your humor astounds me," Hawkeye replied dryly, "And thanks for the vote of confidence by the way."

"Wait," BJ mumbled, holding up a hand, "Slip-winged?"

"Slip-winged," Trapper cut in, "Means you busted him. Now he has to explain the whole guardian angel thing. Technically, shouldn't happen," the curly haired man shrugged nonchalantly, "Almost always does though. Hawk did good to last out six months."

"Really?" Hawk asked, looking slightly mollified.

Trapper nodded, "Took me two weeks, three days, nine hours and seventeen minutes to get slip-winged."

BJ raised an eyebrow, "Not that you were counting…"

Trapper looked rueful, blushing slightly, wings fluttering uncomfortably, "I wasn't, but my wingman was. Apparently I set a new record."

Hawkeye bit back a snort of laughter as Trapper threw him a glare. BJ grinned as well, relaxing back onto his bunk, feeling startlingly at ease. It wasn't until Trapper turned, obviously hearing something on his end, that it really sank in. BJ stared at the Bostonian's wings. He. Had. Wings. Trapper John Macintyre was a guardian angel. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce was a guardian angel. It was all real. BJ frowned, as something else flitted through his mind. Trapper was protecting someone back home. So was that other guy, Adair. But Hawkeye was furious with Adair…

"Hey Hawk?" BJ asked suddenly.

"Yes'm?" Hawk replied, both him and Trapper turning to face the frowning blonde.

"If you and Trapper are both…" BJ waved his hands, still reluctant to say the word 'angel', "… and that Adair guy is one too, how come you were so pissed with him, but you're ok with Trapper?"

"Uh…" Hawkeye looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"Ah hell…" Trapper murmured.

Steeling himself, Hawkeye turned to the glowing ball still bobbing gently by his head, "I got this, Trap."

"You sure, Hawk?" Trapper looked concerned.

Hawkeye nodded, "Yeah. This has to come from me."

BJ scowled, eyes narrowing, "What does? What's going on?"

Trapper nodded, "Best 'a' luck then," and the glowing ball disappeared.

BJ turned narrowed, suspicious blue eyes on Hawkeye. Hawkeye shifted uncomfortably, wishing, not for the first time, that he had his wings so he could bring them up to cover his face. BJ looked at his friend. Could he really call him his friend anymore? Was he still Hawk? BJ frowned. That was awful. Of course he was still Hawk. It's not like he'd poured out all his deep, dark secrets either. Hawk's secret was just a little more… dramatic… than most. But then… it's Hawkeye. Hawkeye is a little more dramatic than most. But… what wasn't he telling him?

"Well?" he asked coolly.

Hawkeye flinched, "Now, Beej, you gotta understand, I didn't know, I didn't have anything to do with this…"

"Didn't have anything to do with what!" BJ all but yelled.

Hawkeye bowed his head, bringing his hands up to cover his face, seeing as he had no wings to do so, "Adair, the angel I was talking to in the supply tent, he's… he's…"

"He's what?" BJ asked in a deceptively even voice.

"Promise not to hit me?" Hawkeye asked in a small voice.

"No," BJ returned in the same calm tone.

"He's Thomas Miller's guardian angel," Hawkeye said very quickly, the words all rushed together, his head bowed.

BJ stared. Hawkeye did not just say what he think he said. He blinked. Thomas Miller had a guardian angel. Peggy left him for Thomas Miller. Hawkeye was a guardian angel. Guardian angels made his wife leave him. Guardian angels were the reason he was in the middle of this godforsaken hellhole. The normally placid blonde doctor saw red.

"So," BJ ground out, struggling to keep his voice even, "What you're telling me is that you… creatures… are the reason my wife left me!"

Hawkeye's head snapped up at the use of the word 'creatures', his eyes narrowing angrily, "One. I resent the use of the word 'creature'. Two. It is not MY fault your wife left you; I was doing everything in my power to make sure you got home to her," Hawkeye's voice dropped to a low growl, "And three. From what I hear, this was soon to happen anyway, Peggy didn't exactly sound all that heartbroken in her lett…"

That was all that Hawkeye got out before BJ's fist came into sharp contact with his face. Blood poured out of the dark haired man's nose as he fell backwards, landing on his back in the middle of the Swamp. Hawkeye's eyes blazed furiously for a second, before all the anger drained out of them. He winced as he rolled onto his knees, then his feet. Hawkeye swayed unsteadily for a second, before walking carefully over to his bunk, sitting down and grabbing his towel, pressing it to his bloodied nose.

"I deserved that," he said thickly, towel still pressed to his face, blue eyes staring up at BJ.

BJ glared down at him, rubbing a hand across his knuckles. He looked down at his scraped knuckles as the pain began to filter into his mind. As his blinding anger faded, BJ glanced at Hawkeye. The dark haired doctor was sitting on his bunk, face pale, his eyes closed, with lines of pain crinkling his forehead. BJ blinked, he'd just punched Hawkeye. He'd broken his Hippocratic Oath and punched his best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:**

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta:** Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

BJ looked from his scraped knuckles to Hawkeye and back again. He'd just decked Hawkeye. He blinked a couple of times, his eyes widening slightly. He sat down hard on his bunk. He looked down at his knuckles again. He shivered slightly before looking up at Hawkeye again. He found the dark haired man looking at him over the towel he still pressed against his bloodied nose, concern in his eyes. God… even though he'd just decked him; Hawk was still worried about him. A lump formed in BJ's throat that he adamantly told himself had nothing to do with Hawkeye.

"Beej?" Hawkeye said hesitantly.

BJ looked up at Hawk, "God Hawk, I…"

Hawkeye wiped the blood off his face, dropping the towel behind him on the floor. He glanced over at BJ, whose wide blue eyes followed his every move, coming to rest on his chest. Hawkeye frowned slightly. If he was female he'd be very offended. He glanced down. Hawkeye winced. His entire shirtfront was covered in blood. Almost as much as when he came out of surgery. He sighed. Glancing around the Swamp he tried to find another shirt. Nothing. He sighed again. Great. Have this conversation in a bloody shirt or no shirt. Hawkeye glanced over at BJ. The blonde man still hadn't taken his eyes off Hawkeye's blood soaked chest. Hawkeye fought the urge to sigh yet again. No shirt it was.

Pulling off his shirt and dropping it with the towel, Hawkeye turned back to BJ, "Its ok."

"But…"

"Beej, its ok."

BJ looked down, brow furrowed, "I'm still sorry."

Hawkeye smiled, "I know. But, in my defense, I did try to tell Adair that he shoulda just left it alone," the smile turned to a frown.

Looking up, BJ noticed the preoccupied look on his friend's face, "Hawk?"

"What? Hmm? Oh, nothing," the other doctor said, still looking as though something was bothering him.

BJ tossed Hawkeye one of his own shirts, stomping down on the little voice in the back of his head that began chanting 'No shirt, no shirt, no shirt, he's wearing no shirt'. Still preoccupied, Hawkeye started slightly as the shirt hit him in the face. He blinked then looked down at the khaki green t-shirt in his lap. He shot BJ a small smile before pulling the t-shirt over his head. BJ looked at him for a minute, before realizing that Hawkeye wasn't going to willingly answer his question about what was bothering him.

"Can't fool me, Hawk, something's bothering you. What is it?"

Hawkeye looked down, "There's something else," he said quietly, "Another thing you need to know about the whole guardian angel thing... and about Peggy and Thomas Miller."

BJ's eyes narrowed slightly, that didn't sound good, "What?"

Keeping his head bowed, Hawkeye spoke in the same quiet voice, "Do you remember, in the supply tent, just before Adair noticed you, what I was saying to him? About my orders?"

"Vaguely," BJ answered, "I know it had 'thou art' in it… and the word 'soulmate'… and I remember you seemed to trail off halfway through."

Hawkeye sighed and recited softly, "Thou art hereby charged to protect and shelter Doctor BJ Hunnicutt from any and all harm until such time as he can return home to, or he finds, his soulmate."

BJ blinked at him, then frowned, "But… Peggy… we were…"

Hawkeye finally looked up at him, confusion and sadness in his eyes, "I thought so too," he said, "But apparently not."

BJ's face twisted in confusion, "I don't follow."

Hawkeye looked right into BJ's eyes, "What did Peg say about Thomas Miller in her letter, Beej?"

Hawkeye wasn't at all surprised when BJ didn't even bother to reach for the letter, he was fully aware that the blonde doctor knew it by heart. He frowned for a second, before his eyes widened. Peggy's words floated through his head. 'I honestly believe that Tommy and I are soulmates.' Soulmates. There was that word again.

BJ's eyes filled with tears, "You mean…?"

Hawk nodded sadly, "I'm sorry, Beej, I'm so sorry."

BJ just stared at him for a second, "'I honestly believe that Tommy and I are soulmates,'" he whispered, "They really are, aren't they?"

Hawkeye nodded again, wishing he could take the forlorn look off of BJ's face. His heart twisted. Was it always this painful? Did guardian angels always feel this much for their assignments? Or did it get easier over time? God that sounded awful. Hawk bit back a sigh and made a mental note to ask Trapper the next time he spoke to him.

BJ's eyes narrowed, "But why?"

Hawkeye blinked, "Why what?"

"Why everything, Hawk! Why is that horse's ass Peggy's soulmate and not me? Why did they only pick now to tell me?" BJ's voice grew steadily louder, "Why not do something about it before I married her and we had Erin?"

Hawkeye held up a placating hand, "Beej, I know as much about this as you do. Hell, I only found out about Thomas and Peggy after you told me."

But BJ wasn't finished, "Shut up!" he kept yelling even as Hawkeye recoiled like he'd been slapped, "Why did I get lumped with a novice? Why, if you're supposed to be protecting me, did I get sent to this godforsaken hellhole?"

Hawkeye visibly flinched, his eyes wide. He got slowly to his feet. He stared at BJ. Hawkeye's eyes narrowed in fury. He could understand BJ's anger at having Peg leave him. He could understand BJ's anger when he found out Peg and Thomas Miller were soulmates. He could even understand BJ feeling betrayed over the whole guardian angel thing. But that… that was going too far. The dark haired doctor took a step towards BJ, blue eyes blazing.

"Incoming casualties, both shifts to OR."

The two doctors narrowed their eyes at each other, looking for all the world like two cowboys staring each other down in an Old West shootout. They both turned and left the tent neither saying a word. BJ broke, his instincts as a doctor kicking in, even as he was telling himself that he didn't leave because of the pain in Hawk's eyes. Hawkeye broke, his instinctive need to protect and heal overshadowing everything else, even as he told himself that it wasn't because BJ's words had cut him to the core.

It was quiet and tense in the OR. Colonel Potter frowned, as the silence stretched out. None of the normal banter, singing or friendly insults could be heard from either BJ or Hawkeye. In fact, the two seemed to ignore each other. The only words the two doctors spoke were to their scrub nurses, when they asked for surgical instruments. Potter shivered lightly. It was unsettling. Particularly from Pierce. Hunnicutt occasionally had quiet spells, especially when he got letters from home. But Pierce seemed to just get even louder when he did, almost to make up for it. It bothered him to think that the whole camp had become so reliant on the two doctors. Not just for their surgical skills but for morale too.

"This one's done," Hawkeye called to the corpsman, his voice a ghost of its normal upbeat tone.

"Damn it! He's coding!" BJ yelled from his table.

Hawkeye rushed over, "What was wrong with him?" he asked, careful not to meet BJ's eyes.

"Shrapnel to the torso," BJ replied tersely, not looking at Hawkeye.

"Toxic shock?" Hawkeye threw back.

BJ shook his head, "No. He was doing ok. Stomach cavity wasn't compromised."

"Blood loss?" Hawkeye snapped, letting the scrub nurse pull fresh gloves onto his hands.

BJ shook his head again, moving around the soldier's chest to start compressions, "No, I got all the bleeders."

"Shock from the surgery must've sent him into cardiac arrest," Hawkeye said, grabbing the oxygen mask off the nurse and moving to the soldier's head, "Ready."

"Starting compressions."

"No pulse. Come on, damn you…"

"Now?" BJ's hopeful voice asked as he completed his second round of compressions.

"No pulse, pressure's dropping further…" Hawkeye shook his head, glancing up at BJ's worried face.

The entire OR stilled, watching the two doctors work to save the young soldier. The two were silent except for the steady thumping of BJ's hands on the soldier's chest and the hiss of the oxygen mask as Hawkeye forced air into his lungs. Potter shook his head and carried on stitching up the final wounds in his patient. He cut off the final suture and stepped back.

"All done. Corpsman! Bring in the next one!" he called through the OR's swinging doors.

As another patient was brought to his table, he glanced over at Hawkeye and BJ. The two were still working on getting the young soldier's heart working again. They worked frantically. He shook his head, turning away as his scrub nurse pulled fresh gloves onto his hands. He turned back to the two doctors still feverishly working.

"Hunnicutt. Pierce. Let him go. He's not coming back."

Two sets of anguished blue eyes stared back at him. BJ looked down at the soldier underneath his hands. He glanced at Hawkeye, eyes seeming to plead with him over his mask. Hawkeye blinked in surprise, then shook his head imperceptibly, before taking the oxygen mask off the soldier's face. BJ stared at the dark haired doctor in shock, before taking his hands off the soldier's chest.

"Father Mulcahy!" he called in a voice that shook slightly, refusing to look at Hawkeye.

The priest hurried over and began the young soldier's last rites. BJ took a deep breath and turned back to the OR, pulling off his gloves as he did so. Hawkeye did the same, almost in tandem with BJ. Both refused to look at each other. The two were back to their previous silence, now working as separate entities instead of the team they once were. Colonel Potter sighed, looking up from his patient to talk to the two doctors.

"I've got the last one here. Go get some rest; you look like you need it."

Hawkeye opened his mouth to protest, but was stopped by a solid glare from the old war veteran. He sighed and nodded, walking out into the prep room and stripping off his bloody scrubs. He didn't bother to look up as he heard the doors swing open again and the rustle of cloth as another person stripped off their scrubs too.

Hawkeye pushed himself to his feet and walked slowly back to the Swamp. He'd barely made it two steps in the door before he was grabbed by the shoulder. He let out a startled grunt as he was spun round and slammed up against the door. He struggled slightly, but was pinned by a furious BJ.

"You could've helped him," the blonde hissed.

Hawkeye sighed, "Yeah, I could've…" he agreed.

BJ reared back, "Then why didn't you?"

Hawkeye looked down, "I was told not to. I already disobeyed orders by helping you do CPR. It was his time to die."

BJ blinked, before snuffing a bitter laugh, "The one time you actually follow orders…" he let the dark haired man go, shaking his head, "You let a man die, Hawk."

Hawk's eyes flared, "I didn't have a choice!"

BJ snorted, "Just like you didn't have a choice when you found out my wife was leaving me…"

Hawkeye shoved past BJ, standing in the middle of the Swamp, eyes blazing, "No, BJ, I did not have a choice. I did not have a choice in letting that man die. I did not have a choice in finding out your wife was leaving you," Hawkeye's voice got steadily louder, his hands fluttering in the air as he got angrier and angrier, "I did not have a choice when I was sent to this death-ridden hellhole. I do not have a choice when I have to watch so many die knowing that I could, maybe, just maybe, keep them alive a little bit longer. I did not have a choice when I got sent to a war zone to protect a doctor who didn't even want to be there. I did not have a choice when my orders got changed from protecting you so you could go home to your wife to dying in your place so you could…"

As BJ's head whiplashed back towards him, Hawkeye's eyes widened as he realized he had just said far too much.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Be Careful What You Wish For…

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta:** Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

"I did not have a choice when my orders got changed from protecting you so you could go home to your wife to dying in your place so you could…"

At those words, every bit of anger that BJ was feeling fell away. Die? Hawkeye was supposed to die for him? But… angels don't die. That's why they're angels. BJ's head swung round as he turned wide, blue eyes on Hawk. Hawk cut his sentence off abruptly. Far too late. BJ's thoughts raced manically around his head.

"Hawk?" was all he managed to get out, his voice barely above a whisper.

Hawkeye sighed, "Me and my big mouth."

As BJ just carried on staring at him, Hawkeye frowned, bowing his head before reaching out and leading the blonde man over to their bunks. He sat BJ down and looked at him, wishing once again that he had his wings so he could bring them up to cover his face. BJ just continued to stare, his face two shades paler than it was before.

Hawkeye shot him a wry smile, "You weren't supposed to hear that."

BJ blinked, "Apparently not."

Hawkeye sighed, "Beej, you know I'm not human. You know I'm a guardian angel. But angels aren't all the serene, winged beauties you see in the Bible pictures or da Vinci paintings. Neither are they the fat, little, naked cherub things that people put on Valentine's Day cards."

BJ let out an involuntary snort of laughter at the image of Hawkeye Pierce dressed as Cupid and looking decidedly unimpressed about it.

"Guardian angels," Hawkeye continued, raising an eyebrow, "Aren't actually all that different from humans. I mean, apart from the whole wings thing. We aren't all-powerful. We can't just wave our hands and cure the world's ills," here Hawkeye bowed his head, "We can't live forever on pretty, white clouds. Hell, we can't live forever, period."

At those words, BJ winced, "Hawk, you… you said…"

Hawkeye looked down. He was such an ass. Of all the dumb, stupid, horrible things for him to blurt out in a fit of temper. He shook his head. Way to go, Pierce. Tell your best friend you're gonna end up a casualty of war because of him.

"I know, Beej. Those… those are my new orders," Hawkeye said, keeping his head bowed.

"And you're just going to accept that!" BJ stared at him incredulously, "I'm sorry, Hawk, not gonna happen."

Hawkeye's head came up, confusion written all over his face, "You what, now, Beej?"

BJ frowned at the confusion he saw, "You honestly expect me to just stand back and let you die?"

Hawkeye blinked, "Well… yes, actually."

BJ stared at him. He stared at Hawkeye for so long that the dark haired man began to squirm, shifting his shoulders to try and spread wings that weren't there. Hawkeye shifted uneasily under the scrutiny of the blonde man. He really, I mean, really, needed his wings in times like these. BJ blinked a couple of times, before shaking his head.

"You really do, don't you? You really think I'm just gonna stand there and watch you die without batting an eyelid…"

"Well… yeah…" Hawkeye said, as though it were obvious.

The two doctors traipsed through the camp, wandering slowly over to the mess tent. BJ couldn't get Hawkeye's words out of his mind. A flicker of guilt moved through him as he realized that he hadn't thought about Peg or the divorce papers all day. Or since yesterday for that matter. He scratched his head absently, he really needed to sign them soon, get them to Radar in the next mail run. BJ frowned slightly, that wasn't going to be a happy time. At least he had Hawkeye to keep him company.

BJ got to the door of the mess tent, gallantly opening the door and bowing Hawkeye through mockingly. Hawkeye simply raised an eyebrow at him, smirking as he wandered in and grabbed a tray, passing it off to the blonde before grabbing one for himself. The two joined the line, both wrinkling their noses at the smell of the mess food. They picked an unoccupied table in the corner, setting down their trays and dropping down onto the benches. BJ poked at the gravy with his fork, grimacing as it wobbled.

"Hey Hawk?"

Hawkeye looked up from where he was carefully inspecting his own food, "Yeah?"

BJ gestured to his dinner, "Is this how I'm supposed to die?"

Hawkeye blinked at him for a second before letting out an involuntary snort of laughter, "I dunno, let's find out."

Hawkeye's quicker-than-human reflexes allowed him to snatch BJ's forkful of mashed potato and gravy out of his hand and quickly stuff it into his mouth. The dark haired man swallowed carefully, then pulled a face.

"That right there, that's disgusting… but it's not poisonous," he grinned at the stunned look on the blonde's face.

BJ shook his head at him, grinning as well. Only Hawkeye… The two sat companionably, poking at their dinners, making fun of the gravy, even occasionally eating some of it. Eventually, they stood up, dumping the remnants of their food into the bin and the trays into the pile. They walked towards the door, before BJ paused, offering Hawkeye his arm.

"Shall we, Winged Wonder?"

Hawkeye grinned and took his arm, "We shall indeed."

The two wandered out of the mess tent, meandering slowly through the camp, reveling in the fact that they had no casualties to deal with. They did a slow lap of the camp, pausing to talk to Father Mulcahy and Radar. Then, still bored, they carried on walking, heading in no general direction, but ending up alone on the helipad. BJ had his head bowed, looking lost in thought, while Hawkeye was just wandering, noting absently that the updrafts on the helipad would be brilliant if he had his wings.

"Yo Hawk?" BJ said, face still looking thoughtful.

"Yes'm?" Hawkeye replied absently, eyes still turned wistfully on the sky.

"Do you actually know how I'm supposed to die? Or is it just going to happen?"

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow, "You aren't the one who's going to be doing the dying, Beej…" he said, before sighing, "And no, I don't know, I mean, I'm pretty sure I'll know it when it happens… but…" he shrugged.

BJ looked at him, "I told you before, Hawk… Not. Gonna. Happen."

BJ bristled, starting to get annoyed when Hawkeye didn't even bother to respond. He frowned. He wasn't even looking at him. Hawkeye was staring around the helipad. No. He was staring at the bushes around the helipad. BJ's frown grew deeper. What in the hell…? His eyes narrowed as he looked closely at Hawkeye's face. The dark haired doctor had paled considerably. His hands had clenched into fists as he glanced around the helipad. He almost looked… nervous.

A shot rang out, breaking the silence that had surrounded the helipad. A startled cry was torn from a doctor's throat. A pair of blue eyes watched in stunned horror as the other stared back, swaying unsteadily on their feet for a few seconds, before their knees buckled and they crumpled to the hard dirt below. The same blue eyes stared as a second pair of blue eyes, glassy with pain, looked up at him. A weak smile curled the other's lips.

"Told you so."


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Be Careful What You Wish For…

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta:** Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

"Told you so," Hawkeye said weakly, one hand pressed to his chest, blood seeping through his fingers.

BJ stared at him in horror, dropping to his knees beside Hawkeye. He pressed his hand to the wound, fighting back the nausea that threatened to swamp him as blood, Hawkeye's blood, ran over his hand and down his arm. Hawkeye grunted in pain as BJ's hand pressed down on the already painful injury. He turned glassy eyes back up to the blonde.

"Whatcha doin', Beej?" he mumbled, frowning at BJ's attempts to stop the bleeding.

BJ ignored the mumbled question, "Casualty on the helipad! All medics to the helipad!" he yelled over Hawkeye's head.

BJ kept his hand pressed to the bullet wound in Hawk's chest. He listened to Hawkeye's raspy breathing and shuddered. Blood still flowed sluggishly down over his hands. Where was everybody? He glanced around frantically, hoping to see Potter, Father Mulcahy, Radar, Margaret… hell anyone… No-one. There was no-one.

"They're not comin', Beej…" Hawkeye said to him, his voice horribly calm.

"Shut up, Hawk," BJ snapped, "Just shut up."

Hawkeye pushed weakly at BJ's strong hands, "Beej, stop it. Lemme go."

BJ smacked Hawkeye's questing hand lightly, "Leave it, Hawk, you ain't going anywhere."

Hawkeye frowned up at him, his world hazy with pain. What was BJ doing? He wasn't supposed to save him. That's not how it went. Hawkeye coughed weakly, grimacing and letting out a soft moan as his chest suddenly became one big ball of agony. He felt something wet trickle out of the corner of his mouth and blinked blearily as BJ's eyes widened in shock. The blonde reached out with his free hand, which was shaking, Hawk noted absently, and wiped it across Hawkeye's chin. Hawkeye blinked again and tried to focus his blurring eyes. BJ stared down at his free hand. The hand that was now covered in blood, not from the bullet wound, but that Hawkeye had just coughed up.

"All medics to the helipad!" BJ yelled again, his voice growing hoarse.

"Told you… not comin'…" Hawkeye murmured, voice growing steadily weaker.

"Hawk… you stay with me, dammit!"

Hawkeye opened bleary eyes and struggled to bring BJ's face into focus, "Why?" he asked.

BJ stared at him, "Because… because I… Jesus Christ, Hawkeye, just because, alright!"

Hawkeye's eyes closed again, more blood trickled out of his mouth, "S'my orders, Beej…" he whispered.

BJ growled, "Dammit, I don't care! I'm not letting you die!"

Hawkeye's eyes cracked open again and locked onto BJ's own, "Why?" he asked weakly.

"I'm not letting my best friend die because he chose a stupid time to start following orders."

Hawkeye frowned up at him again. BJ honestly wanted to save him. He didn't know why, but it seemed like a very important question. And one Hawkeye really wanted to know the answer to. His frown grew deeper and he shifted slightly, trying to look at the other doctor, moaning in pain as his wound pulled.

"Why?" Hawkeye asked insistently.

Blood still seeping through his fingers, BJ glared down at Hawk, "Stop. Asking. Why."

Hawkeye sighed, blood running down his chin, as he realized that BJ wasn't going to answer his question. He coughed weakly, grimacing as his chest burned. He both felt and saw the grey pushing at the edges of his vision. Pity. He'd really wanted to know why BJ wanted to save him. A lone tear trickled down his cheek to mix with the blood on his chin. BJ… God, he'd miss him…

BJ saw the tear roll down Hawkeye's cheek, "No, Hawk, come on… I'm sorry… you can ask why all you like."

The grey pushed at the edges of Hawkeye's vision. He sighed softly. Time to go, I guess. His eyes slowly closed. He could hear BJ talking, speaking quickly, but it was all muffled. He sighed again; it didn't hurt anymore, that was good. He heard BJ say something, quietly. He wished he could hear what he was saying. He heard another voice. Adair?

BJ stared down at Hawkeye. He was dying. After what he'd just told him, Hawkeye was still dying. BJ scrunched his eyes shut. This was not happening. This was a nightmare. He'd open his eyes and Hawk would be there, shaking his shoulder and telling him to wake up.

"Oh Benjamin, you really ballsed this up, didn't you?"

BJ's head snapped up, staring at the bespectacled angel above him, "You… Adair, right? You can fix him, can't you?"

"I could, yes…" Adair said, nudging Hawkeye with his foot and grimacing as his shoe came away bloody.

"Then do it!" BJ yelled, his eyes wide, staring up at Adair in shock.

Adair gave him a malicious grin, "Why?" he asked, mimicking Hawkeye.

BJ growled at him, "You son-of-a… He's dying, damn you! Fix him!"

Adair grimaced at his bloody shoe again and pushed his glasses back up his nose, "Well, I know where Benjamin gets his foul language from…"

Adair's head reared back as BJ let loose with a torrent of the filthiest curse words the blonde doctor knew existed and a few more he made up on the spot. Adair pushed his glasses back up his nose and wrinkled his nose at BJ. With a long suffering sigh he eased himself to his knees, letting out a small noise of distaste as the dirt settled on his neatly pressed pants. As BJ fixed him with a furious glare and gestured with a blood-covered hand, Adair sighed again, pushed his glasses up his nose and held his hands over Hawkeye's bloodied chest. BJ frowned when nothing happened.

"Benjamin," Adair said flatly, shooting BJ a sly look.

BJ frowned at him, "Hawkeye," he said automatically, "His name is Hawkeye."

Adair turned his head to look at the blonde and smiled, without any malice or sarcasm, the first true smile BJ had ever seen on the arrogant angel's face. Adair turned his head back to Hawkeye and flexed his fingers. A soft white glow surrounded his hands and Hawkeye's wound. BJ watched, completely helpless. A frown flitted across Adair's face and he heaved another long suffering sigh. The glow faded from around his hands and he sat back.

"There. Fixed," he told BJ, pushing his glasses back up his nose and ruffling his wings.

Adair got to his feet and frowned at his now dusty pants, "Word of advice, Doctor Hunnicutt… if you yell for a medic now, they'll come…" Adair ruffled his wings lightly, "Don't yell for anyone, he won't thank you for it."

"But…" BJ gestured to the blood.

Adair glanced over his shoulder at his wings, "Trust me, Doctor Hunnicutt, this is probably the only thing he and I will agree on… don't yell for anyone."

BJ's eyes narrowed slightly, before he sighed, bowing his head, "Fine."

Adair's mouth quirked slightly in what was almost a smile and the arrogant angel vanished as silently as he had appeared. BJ turned back to Hawkeye. He caught sight of his bloodied hands and winced, before wiping them on his pants. He grimaced as the blood clung to his hands. He rubbed them more forcefully across his knees, wincing as the blood still left a faded red stain on his hands.

"Need scrub soap for that…" a soft voice told him.

BJ looked from his hands towards the voice. He shot Hawkeye a grin as a set of no-longer pain-filled blue eyes met his own. Hawk gave him a small smile in return. BJ turned slightly so he was facing Hawkeye, reaching out a hand and carefully peeling the blood-soaked t-shirt away from the wound. BJ blinked. There was no wound. Not anymore. BJ poked at the skin exposed by the hole in Hawkeye's t-shirt. It was like he'd never been shot. He poked the skin again, stunned into silence.

"Beej? Quit poking me."

"Hmm?" BJ said absently, before blushing furiously as he realized what he was doing, "Oh, sorry…"

"S'ok," Hawk mumbled, struggling into a sitting position.

Hawkeye sat up slowly, blinking as the world around him tilted slightly. He stayed quiet, taking a mental inventory. Head, fuzzy, but ok. Good. Chest, no pain. Good. Arms, little tingly, but ok. Good. Legs, no pain. Good. All in all… he was… Oh hell! Hawkeye flinched as a wave of pain flowed through his back. Back, very painful. Not good. He gasped as the pain doubled, flowing up his spine and settling over his shoulder blades.

Hearing the pained gasp, BJ's head snapped round. His eyes widened as he saw Hawkeye doubled over in agony. Shifting closer, he ran careful fingers over his chest, cursing Adair all the while. Dammit! He said it was fixed! Breathing harshly, Hawkeye let out a strangled yell, shoving BJ's hands away and curling his own protectively around himself. Scowling, BJ pushed Hawkeye's hands away and continued to try and examine a wound that no longer existed.

"Don't touch me…" Hawkeye ground out, his eyes scrunched shut and his face pale.

Hawkeye gritted his teeth, biting back another yell. Damn, what was going on? He hadn't earned his wings yet… had he? He tried to think through the pain in his back, surely he'd remember if he'd earned his wings. He groaned as his back flared with pain. He tried rolling his shoulders, but that just made it worse, causing the yell he had previously suppressed to burst from him.

Hawkeye felt the muscles in his back rip and rebuild themselves as his wings grew inside his back. He let out a strangled groan, fighting the urge to just scream. He shuddered, fists clenching in the hard-packed dirt of the helipad as his back twitched, involuntarily trying again and again to spread wings that simply couldn't emerge. God, if the wing scars didn't show up soon he was going make BJ cut them out! BJ could only watch helplessly as Hawkeye shuddered painfully.

A horrible scream wrenched itself from Hawkeye's throat as his back bowed alarmingly, his shoulders rolling back until the shoulder blades were almost touching. BJ stared in shock as a rippling wave arched down Hawkeye's back. What the hell was going on? The dark haired man screamed again and hunched over, curling into a ball.

"Hawk? Hawk, what's going on? What do you need me to do?"

"Cut the damn things out!" Hawkeye replied through gritted teeth.

"What!" BJ yelped incredulously.

Hawkeye's breathing grew harsh as he ground out, "Get a scalpel, a knife, hell, a rusty nail… and make two incisions down my shoulder blades… ah hell!"

"What, Hawk, what! I'm helpless here!"

Hawkeye shuddered, another wave rippling through the muscles on his back, "So am I…"

BJ jerked as two long bloody furrows seemed to etch themselves down Hawkeye's shoulder blades. As the blonde doctor reached out a hand to inspect the gashes, Hawkeye let out a pathetic groan. He weakly rolled his shoulders, spreading his newly grown wings. He shuddered again and pitched forward into the dirt, unmoving.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Be Careful What You Wish For…

**Author:** Hawkeye/Katy

**Beta:** Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ

**Fandom:** MASH

**Rating:** FRT

**Disclaimer:** I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.

**Summary:** AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?

BJ gaped, staring in stunned shock at the white wings that had just burst from Hawkeye's back. He reached out a tentative hand and carefully ran his fingertips across the top of one. He yanked his hand back as the wing twitched, curling back in on itself. BJ reached out again before hesitating. Should he roll Hawkeye over onto his back? Onto his side? Leave him where he was? He had no idea.

"Beej?" came the soft mumble.

"Hawk!" BJ was at his side in a second.

"Not so loud…" Hawkeye winced, trying to sit up, "Damn, my back hurts."

"Well… you… I mean…" BJ stared at him helplessly, "You've got wings, Hawkeye."

Maneuvering himself upright, Hawkeye looked over his shoulder, then back at BJ, "I know," he said, looking confused, "And I have no idea why…"

BJ blinked at him, his face falling, "You don't know?"

Hawkeye looked at BJ. He watched the way BJ's face fell as he admitted that he had no idea why his wings had emerged. BJ knew. BJ knew why he had his wings. Hawkeye frowned, blue eyes troubled. His thoughts turned to his shooting. He ran over the events in his mind. Shot… not comin', Beej… shut up, Hawk… let me go, Beej… stay with me, Hawk… grey… all grey… BJ's voice… BJ… He'd said something.

Hawkeye looked at him warily, whatever BJ had said, it had gotten him his wings, "Beej? What exactly did you say to me? When… when I was…"

"When your blood was running over my hands and you were dying in my arms?" BJ returned far too calmly.

Hawkeye winced, "Yeah."

"It doesn't matter."

Hawkeye blinked, "BJ, whatever it was, it's the reason I now have wings. I'd kinda like to know what it was, thanks."

"I said, it doesn't matter, Hawkeye. Come on, you can't sit on the helipad forever…"

Carefully not looking at him, BJ levered Hawkeye to his feet. He looked at the tattered remnants of the dark haired man's t-shirt and sighed, pulling off his jacket. He handed it over to Hawkeye, who took it hesitantly and put it on, wincing slightly as his still-tender back flared with pain. He glanced over his shoulder, making sure his wings couldn't be seen under the edge of the coat. He carefully fastened the jacket, before walking off the helipad.

Hawkeye shifted uneasily, he felt awkward, almost top-heavy. Could anyone see his wings? Don't be stupid, Hawkeye, of course they can't. Nobody noticed Trapper's wings, did they? No. But still… He fought the urge to glance over his shoulder yet again. BJ walked silently next to him, head down. As Hawkeye moved to look over his shoulder again, he shifted his focus to BJ.

"Beej?"

"Hawk?"

"I need to know what you said."

BJ pushed open the door to the Swamp, letting Hawkeye go in first. He followed the dark haired doctor in and closed the door behind him. BJ sat down on his bunk and rested his head on his elbows without answering. Hawkeye frowned at him, before moving and sitting on his own bunk. He stared across the tent at BJ.

"Beej, this is important! I currently have a set of freakishly abnormal wings sticking out of my rather sore back, and I'd kinda like to know why the hell they're there. And you just dismissing the whole damn thing isn't helping!"

BJ's head snapped up, "What do you expect me to do, Hawk? Everything in me is screaming that you should be dead! You got shot in the chest! With all the blood, I'm pretty sure the bullet nicked the aorta! You should have either died on the helipad or been rushed to the OR where me and Potter should've spent hours trying to patch you up, cursing the fact that it was the thoracic surgeon that got hit! Damn it, Hawkeye! Don't you get it! I sat on that helipad watching you die! I told you I loved you and you were still dying!"

Hawkeye's eyes widened, "What did you just say?"

BJ stopped mid-rant, his anger draining away, before continuing in a much quieter voice, "I said that I loved you."

"Holy…" Hawkeye looked stunned, "Well… I… that… does explain the wings…"

"Oh for heaven's sake…" came a grumpy voice.

The two men jerked slightly and turned to face the voice. Adair pushed his glasses up his nose, straightened his bow-tie and frowned at the two. He scowled at them as they both gave him bewildered looks. BJ blinked at him, before noting absently that Adair had changed his clothes, these ones didn't have blood and dust on them. Hawkeye's bewildered expression morphed into a frown as Adair turned to him and spoke.

"You owe me a new pair of shoes, Benjamin; you bled all over my other ones."

Seeing Hawkeye's face darken, BJ spoke up before Hawk could start yelling, "What are you doing here?"

Adair raised an eyebrow, "I was given the dubious honor of telling you to… how shall I put it? Hmm… ah yes… get your heads out of your asses and see what's right in front of you."

Hawkeye's head reared back as the conservative angel cursed, "Adair?"

"You heard me, Benjamin. Open your eyes and look at what's right there," Adair snorted dryly, "Quite literally, in fact…"

Hawkeye frowned, thinking over Adair's words. He was obviously talking about BJ. But… it was BJ… BJ of the cheesy moustache and even cheesier jokes. The enigma in size 13 shoes. A small smile crossed Hawkeye's face as he remembered the night him and Beej had gotten wasted and shaved the moustache off. The smile grew as memories of the practical jokes him and Beej had pulled over the years flitted through his consciousness. The smile faded and his face turned thoughtful as he thought of all the times Beej had been there for him after a nasty day in OR. Who was the guardian angel here, really?

Hawkeye blinked. He turned his head up to face Adair, eyes slightly wider than normal. Adair looked down at him, frowning as his glasses slid down to the end of his nose and pushing them back up again. A smug smile flickered over the chubby angel's face, making Hawkeye ruffle his wings in embarrassment.

"And he finally gets it," Adair said dryly.

"Well done, Benjamin, you're just as stupid as he is," Adair gestured to BJ, who made an indignant noise.

"Thank you, Adair," Hawkeye said through gritted teeth, staying seated on his own bunk.

Adair shook his head, rubbing his temples, "Must I do everything myself?"

The chubby, bespectacled angel stormed over to BJ, and with strength BJ was unaware he had, hauled him to his feet. Adair shoved the blonde doctor, keeping him off balance, ignoring Hawkeye's protesting yells. BJ stumbled backwards, eyes wide and slightly frightened as he was overpowered by a man who was almost a foot shorter than he was. As he got closer to Hawkeye, Adair's arm snaked out grabbing BJ's shoulder and spinning him round. Adair gave the blonde man one final shove. BJ gave a startled yell as he fell backwards…

… straight into Hawkeye's lap.

The two doctors stared up at Adair. Hawkeye's arms came up automatically to wrap around BJ's waist. BJ blinked, then looked down at the hands that had encircled his waist and were currently resting in his lap. He turned his head slightly to look at Hawkeye. Hawkeye looked back at him and gave him a nonchalant shrug that was made pointless by the uncertainty in his eyes. BJ gave him a crooked smile and leaned his head on Hawkeye's shoulder. Hawkeye rested his chin on top of BJ's head and looked up at Adair again.

"So… Adair… What size shoe do you take?"


End file.
